December 16, 2012

Fall 2012 update!

Right now I should most definitely be studying for finals. However, like always, I'm procrastinating. I sit here doing nothing for awhile and then decide to blog. I swear, this happens every year. I just end up blogging rather than studying. This year, is no different, right? Hopefully not since finals begins on Tuesday for me, so all is well, y'all!

Let me tell you what I've been up to this past semester. I am taking 6 classes this semester with one class at no credit. It's an advertising competition class which I've been fairly excited for until I realized that I can't seem to find much common ground with them. Perhaps I've been judging them. Perhaps it isn't that. I don't know. I just can't seem to see myself working in an advertising agency. Don't get me wrong, I love advertising. Everything about it, getting to understand people, having the a-ha moment, creating clever creative campaign makes it all worth it. But, I don't think I belong in this part of world for long. I'd like to begin my life in an agency, but I want to end elsewhere. I want to be seen as a gal with integrity. I read this infographic where it said a huge percentage of people do not trust those in advertising. That was mindblowing and I'm quite sadden by that fact. But, I gotta move on with that I read and deal with the current situation. I still want to get into advertising, but maybe not forever. Because, forever is a long time, and I can't commit to forever. :)

My other classes. Umm, well, they're kind of boring. Nothing interesting, actually. I am just taking major courses that help me realize that I'm the worst student in the world. All in all, all is well, though!

Hmmm, I also switch jobs. When I came back to California, there weren't spots available at the WoMen's Center, so I took an opportunity at the Study Abroad office. Though, I realized after three months how unhappy I am so quit. Yes, I quit. I am a millenial. I expect a lot. I expect happiness. I expect to feel-good about what I do. I expect to be treated well. Anyway, that's done. And, the WoMen's Center needed someone to cover one of their shifts, so I took a job with them again. Despite the short hours, I am quite content there again. I do feel guilty for being such a Generation Y person, for being a procrastinator, for being so lazy, for expecting so much. :(

Lastly, I started to go to church. I just needed to feel something. Everything got so overwhelming and I had no one to turn towards to. And then, I decided to reach out to a friend who in turned pointed me to Christianity and I decided to take a leap of faith. I can't explain why I did it, but it feels kind of right sometimes. Sometimes (most of the time), I feel like I'm a fraud, a fake, a pretender. Sometimes this doesn't feel real. Sometimes I feel like I'm in a cult, but I think I would know, right? I don't know. I remember my friends once told me that I would most likely be the one who falls into peer pressure first. Perhaps this is peer pressure. I'm doing it because everyone else is doing it, right? Maybe this phase will be temporary. Maybe I'll feel okay enough to not rely on religion to help me through life. Maybe I just want to believe that there's something out there other than this random, meaningless nothing.

Anyway, that's about it, for now, right? Oh right, I spent my birthday relaxing at home. I didn't make a big deal with it with family because I felt I was mature enough to not celebrate it. However, I did want a small cake just to make a wish for everyone else's well-being. Luckily, my wonderful friends from church celebrated a couple days prior to my actual birth date so I did get to make that wish. So, it all turned out well even though it was not the way I wanted--not that I knew what I wanted. Seriously, though, what did I want?

So, this is my slight update on this past semester. I just want to say that I feel so content right now despite my rising stress and fear for finals. So yes, all is well, y'all! I hope I get the chance to update more.