October 20, 2011

I feel old


One of my coworkers wants to become a lawyer. He is currently applying for law school. I was surprised of his decision because he was a history major during undergrad and now he is a history major at a graduate student. I told him how I envied his confidence about his future. He took LSAT prep classes that cost $1500 and was currently doing his personal statements. I thought he sound so worldly. Laughing, he said, "I'm only 26."

I was about to leave the room, but I had to ask him how he felt about his age. "Elaborating," I said, "I feel so old since it feels like I am not accomplishing anything. Just getting an education, and even then, I'm not sure if I will figure myself out. I knew someone who got married at 18!" Laughing at me, he said, "Oh, you do not get to say this! You know you are really old when you know someone who is getting a divorce! When I heard that one of my friends was getting a divorced, I was like, 'oh I'm getting old.'"

It is so weird how many lives differ from ours. Do they feel their lives are complete when they start a family? So many of us today strive to get an education and be a professional in our field of study. But, as we get older, we feel this evolutionary need to pass down our genes. So, are we content?

I do not know what I want to do in my future. I think I want to get into the advertising field, but I feel I will not accomplishing anything good. Just a boost in my ego, seeing that I helped worked in some campaign. Also, does my "help" really help make a campaign successful? I'm just questioning everything I thought I was interested in.

Can you truly know what you want? My coworker says believes that we can know what he wants. He found out that he wanted to be a lawyer while working on his Master's in History. Now, he's working as hard as he can do accomplish his goal. His advice for me is, "If you find out what you want to do, and you will, go find someone in that field and try to see what credentials they have so that you can do it, too." So, not exactly the most inspiring advice, but good advice nonetheless. I can recall so long ago while working that someone told me to get a Ph.d in whatever field I decide to get in because money does make you feel satisfied. That's realistic advice, but do I really want to keep going on with my education? I feel so tired now and doing so poorly in everything. Will Korea change it all? Will I become more motivated?

Image source: XKCD

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