October 31, 2011

RIP Lily and James Potter

I know that they're all fictional characters, but I have to write a post on it. It does not seem to look right over today as another childish holiday.

Just imagine...thirty years ago today (October 31st, 1981), Lily and James Potter sacrificed their lives so that their son (as we all know and love), Harry Potter (The Boy Who Lived), could live. Thirty years ago, Severus Snape and Sirius Black both lost people they loved, binding them both together, giving their lives a purpose. Thirty years ago, Lily and James Potter's death gave the magical world hope. Thirty years ago... (Source: MSNBC)

October 29, 2011

Movie Adaptations

I always get excited when a book that I have personally read eventually becomes a movie. It is nice to know that a movie is based on a book, but it is not as exciting as finding out that a book is becoming a movie! (You know what I mean? hahaha, I am so confusing.) For instance, it is nice to know that Chronicles of Narnia or Peter Pan were books prior to becoming fantastic movies. But, finding books to read on my own and then finding out years from now that they were to become a movie is so much better.

Like, Twilight! When I first found out that Twilight was to become a movie, I was like, "Oh my! I read that book in the 8th grade because I saw it at the local Target and decided to borrow it from the local library!" On a side note--when I finally finished up the Twilight series during my senior year of high school, I couldn't help but scoff at the cheesiness (that I once liked in 8th grade). Moreover, I kept focusing on how 10 year old children enjoyed it so much which made me so freaked out when it described an abusive relationship at the last book. So, to clarify everything. I just like knowing that I read the book regardless of enjoying the book or not. Like The Golden Compass, I did not even remember much of the book because I read it so long ago, but I liked how I knew of the book prior to it becoming a movie. Ahh, I sound like such a douche bag--just liking the fact that I knew of it. How can you guys deal with me?

Here are some of the books/movies that I can remember right now (that I was excited for):

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone--I was in 5th grade! Who wouldn't be excited for that movie? I just finished the first book earlier that year (I know, I was a late bloomer!)
Percy Jackson: The Lightning Thief--What is there to hate about Percy? I do not think if I have ever told anyone this, but I love Greek Mythology since the 4th grade. My teacher always read the stories during class. Side note--I love reading faerie tales, too! I am really excited for the upcoming television series on faerie tale retellings. I also love the fact that there are faerie tale retellings in movies. I read bad reviews for most of them, but I am glad to see a bunch of my favorite stuff all over the media. Haha, just wait for a couple months--I will so annoyed of seeing all this!
Perks of Being a Wallflower--I was fond of this book in the 8th grade but when a lot of people read the book, I started to question myself. Did I really like this book?
It's Kind of a Funny Story--I love love love love love this book! Still do. When I heard about a movie coming out, I was super freaken absolutely excited to hear about it. The movie was phenomenal. I was somewhat disappointed with some of the the movie scenes, but I kind of understand why they wouldn't put some of the scenes.
Something Borrowed--I wanted to read good chick-lit stuff. However, most adult fiction books are just plain boring. But, when I read this book, I actually liked it a lot. I was rooting for her all the way even though I should not have. When I found out about the movie, I was like, "oooohmygosh!" Still haven't watched it yet.
Never Let Me Go--I read the book earlier this year. Oh goodness, I have nothing to say about it? I did a whole post of this! Okay, during the middle of reading the novel, I looked it up on the internet and found out about the movie. So, I was pretty happy to find out that it was a movie that I did not hear about (especially at a time like this, with technology and pop culture everywhere).
The Great Gatsby--Okay, there is an older movie version out, but I felt delighted when I heard that another version was coming out starring Leonardo DiCaprio (who I do not like so much) and Carey Mulligan (I really like her a lot right now. She is the (next) big thing!).
Sloppy Firsts--I read this book in January 1st, 2005 and it changed my life. The next four books are just as phenomenal and I love them all. Honestly, I did not think it would become a movie, just because of my own personal reasonings. However, when I found out this morning that it looks like it might become a movie, I was like, "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" So, yes, I am super excited to watch a movie adaption of this book series. I hope it does well, but it will never ever replace my love for the books! <3

So, here it is--my small list of movie adaptations that I was excited for and still am excited for. I hope you enjoy reading my short and badly written post. What movie adaptations are/were you excited for?

October 21, 2011

Second Exam Study Sessions

I went to Bev's study sessions in the morning and late afternoons to help her out. We agreed to try and facilitate sessions together so that she could help me out. The first session (which had 20+ people) was pretty disorganized, but it looked like everyone was content, even though we didn't go through all the chapters. The second study session had 3 people. It was a pretty good session. Small, just the way I liked it. So, I talked a bit more during the session, telling the 3 students what they needed to know, and asking them what they knew about everything.

At the end of the second session, Bev applauded me for my confidence. She told me that she wanted me to finish the session because I talked a lot more. So, study sessions with a few people are better. It is still the public speaking skills that I lack.

Anyway, I will not be facilitating sessions by myself for this exam since I was traumatized by my last session by myself. I did offer "office hours" for the next three days. I do not know if students will take advantage of it, but it's out there. The bad part about everything is that I have to stay on campus longer than I like. :/

All in all, things are okay! :)

October 20, 2011

I feel old

One of my coworkers wants to become a lawyer. He is currently applying for law school. I was surprised of his decision because he was a history major during undergrad and now he is a history major at a graduate student. I told him how I envied his confidence about his future. He took LSAT prep classes that cost $1500 and was currently doing his personal statements. I thought he sound so worldly. Laughing, he said, "I'm only 26."

I was about to leave the room, but I had to ask him how he felt about his age. "Elaborating," I said, "I feel so old since it feels like I am not accomplishing anything. Just getting an education, and even then, I'm not sure if I will figure myself out. I knew someone who got married at 18!" Laughing at me, he said, "Oh, you do not get to say this! You know you are really old when you know someone who is getting a divorce! When I heard that one of my friends was getting a divorced, I was like, 'oh I'm getting old.'"

It is so weird how many lives differ from ours. Do they feel their lives are complete when they start a family? So many of us today strive to get an education and be a professional in our field of study. But, as we get older, we feel this evolutionary need to pass down our genes. So, are we content?

I do not know what I want to do in my future. I think I want to get into the advertising field, but I feel I will not accomplishing anything good. Just a boost in my ego, seeing that I helped worked in some campaign. Also, does my "help" really help make a campaign successful? I'm just questioning everything I thought I was interested in.

Can you truly know what you want? My coworker says believes that we can know what he wants. He found out that he wanted to be a lawyer while working on his Master's in History. Now, he's working as hard as he can do accomplish his goal. His advice for me is, "If you find out what you want to do, and you will, go find someone in that field and try to see what credentials they have so that you can do it, too." So, not exactly the most inspiring advice, but good advice nonetheless. I can recall so long ago while working that someone told me to get a Ph.d in whatever field I decide to get in because money does make you feel satisfied. That's realistic advice, but do I really want to keep going on with my education? I feel so tired now and doing so poorly in everything. Will Korea change it all? Will I become more motivated?

Image source: XKCD

October 9, 2011

Breaking the Norm

For my social psych class, I was told to do a "Break the Norm" paper. Basically, I would have to create an awkward scenario and see how people react to it.

There are a lot of ways to create awkward scenarios, but many people do weird stuff at the elevator that deals getting into other people's personal space or just staring at another person for the longest time.

Discussing my difficulty to create an awkward scenario, I asked people around the office what I should do. Anna didn't say anything, because she's cool like that. Daniel, the intern, a sociology major, felt the same as I did because he had to do that in one of his sociology courses. We were talking about elevator situations, because as psych and sociology majors, we knew how overplayed it was. So, he told me all the weird stuff that he heard people did during class. For instance, this Asian girl in his class sat next to people in the library and invaded their personal space. She kept sitting closer and some people did not really care which is weird, right? Apparently, they all thought she was an international student and did not know her "boundaries" because of cultural differences!

Daniel said that if he was the one invading other people's personal space, the other people would have probably packed up as fast as they can and ran away. It's funny because, Daniel is this big tall guy with a beard. Though, like everyone else, if you get to know him, he's a good person, not that I really know him.

Jay, one of the tutors, overheard our conversation and came out to join us. I told him that I did not want to create us a weird scenario like singing in the middle of Target or singing out my orders but I also did not want to overuse the elevators. I don't know how he does it, but he thought of a good one, standing behind someone, and basically looking over someone's shoulders. He demonstrated the scenario with me and asked, "How was that?" Laughing over the awkwardness, I said, "Definitely awkward. You nailed it."

For the next couple minutes, we thought of the awkward scenarios we could do, like haggling at a supermarket, haggling in an home improvement store, invading other people's personal space in the bus, invading personal space in the elevator, or standing backwards in line. Stupid, awkward stuff like that.

Lastly, Daniel told us that in his social psych course, he didn't do a "Break the Norm" paper, but he did have to manipulate situations. For instance, he and his friends tried to advocate more healthy eating so they posted photos of fruits and veggies around campus as well as near vending machines. Based on their data before and after, they noticed that a significant amount of people actually bought healthier foods! Later, they tried to advocate eating junk food, so posted photos of pizza around campus. They inferred that people would buy more unhealthy snacks. However, it didn't happen--less people bought things in the vending machines! Being subtle, he ans his group members asked people why they were hesitating around the vending machines. Apparently since seeing all the photos of pizza nearby, they thought that there was going to be a pizza party!

Anyway, I am pretty lame--writing in my blog about last Thursday. I'm just procrastinating--huge psych paper due this Friday and I don't know what to write about.

Oh, getting off this tangent, I remember why I wanted to post this again! I thought of what I wanted to do for my "Break the Norm" paper.

I wanted to go around campus and telling males around campus that I have seen them around campus, I find them attractive, would they go to bed with me tonight? Yeah, I was willing to go out of my comfort zone to for this experiment to be different. There was this experiment created 20-30 years ago, where students went around campus asking the opposite sex whether they be interested in having sex with them that night. Basically, trying to make this long story short, none of the girls wanted to have sex with a stranger on campus. However, for men, about 3 out 4 said yes. So, about 75% of men were willing to have sex with a stranger. This sounds so disgusting, but the experiment has been done numerous times. So, yeah, I learned this in my anthro class last semester as well as my psych class this semester, so I wanted to try it out, even though I know what the results would likely be. Maybe underneath this curious mind of mine, I want to know if people find me attractive? I mean, I don't know why I really think it's interesting. But then, it's stupid, because when given an offer like this, it's just sex that they're thinking about, not if I look pretty. Haha. So, I'm not going to do that experiment anymore. Though another reason why I don't want to do this anymore is because of him. After rejecting him, I realize how cruel the experiment can be... offering myself and then saying no. Basically, being a tease.

So, I think I may be invading other people's personal space for my paper. It should be interesting because I'm going way off my comfort zone. Typically, I leave a lot of space away from people. (Though, it's different with Christine, I would hold her hands! haha) When I did a class experiment with personal space, I was more than 20 cm away from the other person! Also, one of the reasons why I don't prefer elevators is because of personal space issue.

Breaking the norm sounds so difficult. We all hate creating awkward scenarios. It should be interesting to do something out of social norms. :)

October 7, 2011

There's a line between friendly and overly friendly

So remember my post about being nice and friendly to everyone? Well, scratch that, because I do not think I want to continue being the way I am to people! They get the wrong intentions and create awkward scenarios.

I dropped by work place today after spending over 3 hours at the library working on my scholarship. I felt the effects of sleeping less than enough hours for the past week and wanted to rest, as well as going next door to talk about my study abroad application. Anyway, while there, one of my co-workers acted astoundingly nice to me today. I thought it was weird since he never really talked about anything other than himself and work. Okay, maybe I am exaggerating--I'm just being too harsh. Thinking about this again--I am sure of it. Whenever at the same room with him, I'd ask, out of routine, how he is. He would tells me what's going on, does not ask me about life, and then shuts himself off. The truth is, I'm okay with that because I hate having forced and awkward conversations. Seriously, awkward conversations are not worth it especially when it is one-sided.

To continue, he asked me about me--what's up, what's my last name, what's going on this weekend, anything happening? Honestly, for a second there, I looked around, anticipating a camera because I do not believe that people can change that much.

I assumed he felt comfortable talking to me since I was not working today, so I told him about my day, as well as reciprocating questions. Unfortunately, after awhile, I was irritated with all the questions because I honestly did not like questions and he kept coming out of his room and talking to me and my other co-worker (girl). I don't know... it just felt weird that he was interacting with us.

At 5pm, the girl co-worker and I decided to leave. Anyway, the guy co-worker said if I parked in the furthest parking lot, he would give me a ride because during an earlier conversation that day with him, I told him that I parked in the furthest parking lot the other day and it was dark and creepy. Anyway, I told him that I parked in the parking structure closest to work and he was like, "me too". So, I ended up walking with him to the parking structure, even though I did not want to. Frankly, I was not fond of him and did not want to hang out with him outside of class.

Feeling awkward, I walked fast even though we had a conversation about school (again, I know right?). I told him that I had an essay due for psychology which I did not look forward to doing because I did not enjoy critically analyzing everything. He agreed that it was the same for his major. Let me give dialogue for the rest of the conversation. If there is anything important needed to be read, it is this:

Me: So, how is that girlfriend of yours? (I asked because he told me about his girlfriend and what events they went to together.)
Him: Hah...actually I haven't seen her for the past three months.
Me: Whaaa?
Him: She just started to ignore me about three months ago, so it's over.
Me: Oh wow, that sucks. What a coward. She should've attempted to tie up loose ends.
Him: Actually, I am thinking about asking another person out.
Me: Oh, okay. That's good.
Him: Actually, the person I was thinking about asking out is you.
Me (shocked, by the way. My thoughts running through my head were No, no, no, this is not happening! How do I reject him nicely? Um, maybe I should say yes? No, what do I say? AUSTIN!! Ohmigosh, yes, thank you so much for writing the rejection letter for me in high school!!!!): Oh wow! I'm flattered really. But, you know. I'm pretty busy with life and everything... oh gosh. this is bad. Oh...uh...(people walked in between us)...Oh this is awkward. I have been asked out before and rejected people, but it is still hard. Wow. Like I said, I am completely flattered that you asked me, but I'm sorry I can't. Thank you.
(We both stood there in front of the stairs)
Him: Well, see you Monday.
Me: Yeah. I'll see you Monday. (Then, I hurried up the stairs)

Okay, yes, I am so damn awkward. I can't believe I did that. Is this a dream? It seems like a dream. I don't even remember if I made it clear that I am not interested. Like, I think I said no, but did I really? It was all a blur. Nevertheless, this is the first time that I ever (kinda) reject someone. Remember that guy from Walmart (shown at tumblr here)? Really, that guy was just plain creepy. The best part was that I wasn't going to see him again so handed him a fake number. Remember that guy at the Town Hall Forum? Haha, he didn't ask me out, but I think I made him interested in me when he asked by text, "Cindy said I look ugly like a fob. She said no one would go out with me? Would you?" Me, being super freaken nice, "Maybe?" I was such an idiot in high school. Though, now that I am in college, I should know better. I hate confrontations. I don't do confrontations. I am so awkward. WHY?

I should have just left super early (but he could have asked at a different situation, which may result in a forced yes). I should have seen all the signs. Ahhh, no, it's all hindsight bias, really. Now that it had happened, I can see it happened backward--all the dots are connected!

Did I do something differently to cause him to look at me differently? The only thing different about me was the lack of sleep. I have been so tired all week that I wanted to pass out today. It took a lot of mints in my mouth to make me feel awake. :/ How can anyone like me? I'm pretty emotionally unavailable--the way I act. Also, I'm not extremely pretty compare to other people--just average. The average Jane! haha.

You can't just all of a sudden look at someone differently and act so nice. Really. I don't believe in that. I do not believe anyone can change their perception of other people so fast. We worked for a year. Then, all of a sudden, kinda interest? I didn't act any differently, really--I try to coexist with everyone that I hate and love. I'm friendly with everyone else the same way, right? Argh, I'm going to ask for second opinion one of these days. I'm second guessing myself. Did I unintentionally gave a hint about displaying interest in him? DO I?!

Anyway, I think most of the office was aware of his intentions, because they were all in whispers with girl co-worker. I thought they found some criminal activity that occurred in the office, but thinking about it, it's not likely. Also, my male supervisor asked me Monday (5 days ago) whether that guy told me anything. I was confused and said he did not tell me anything of importance. With this proof in mind, I am going to assume that all my supervisors knew of his intentions and were probably rooting for him to succeed (and me saying yes). They're going to be so bummed when they hear the answer.

Frankly, I am dreading Monday now. I feel like ditching work to catch up on sleep and because of that stupid situation. I am such a coward, really. Okay, I should definitely stop rambling and complaining. He was just asking for a date--not a girlfriend.

October 4, 2011

I'm such a Klutz

I need to sleep more. I'm sick of feeling faint and anemic for the past couple days. How can you all sleep so little and work all day? I slept about 4 hours each night for the past 5 days (weekends, too). My body has been crashing a couple times today. I felt tired and I don't know... it just scared me. I kept thinking that I was getting sick, until I realized that I haven't been sleeping much. Anyway, no more complaining--it's immature. :)

Getting to the point of this post, I can be such a klutz. -_- When I use to work in the auditorium, people had to watch out for me because I never looked down, tripping over wires and chairs and even stairs. This morning I made a klutzy move-- I wasn't really a klutz. I had to wash about 6 big bowls for work; 5 empty bowls and 1 bowl had melted ice water. I walked next door to the study abroad office, carrying everything. Standing in front of their door, I realized that I couldn't open it door without putting everything in the floor. I put all the bowls in the floor and accidentally pushed the top bowl with water sideways, spilling all the water in front of their office doorway! Oh boyy, I freaked out. Trying to stay calm, I grabbed all the bowls, told the receptionist calmly that I made a mess and will clean it up, left the bowls in the kitchen and then went back to the office I worked at to grab one of those huge rolls of paper towels. Basically, I spent 30 minutes trying to soak up all the water and drying the entrance of the office. It was embarrassing, explaining to everyone what happened; Joseph and Rosie laughed, Amber sympathized my situation, Kathryn knew I made the mess (how did she know, she didn't see me). Now everyone next door knows me as a klutz! Great impression, right? I'm trying to study abroad and I create havoc amongst their office!

Another thing about me, I ruin surprises. Tsktsk. Yesterday was Anna's birthday. However, her surprise birthday celebration at work was TODAY! When I was about to leave, Rosie to me to wait because the cake was in the fridge. Bored of waiting, I went to the back office to talk to Jay (Veterans tutor). Apparently catching up with him took awhile (mostly because I was talking about how tired I was and complaining like usual; By the way, I need more guy friends, I like how guys are such great listeners.) because all my bosses started whisper-shouting at me, "LILY!!" Because I was busy talking, I ruined the surprise. Anna started to feel suspicious about everything. Anyway, we did sing happy birthday and all was well, but yeah, I suck at surprises. (Not-So-Fun Fact: I had someone cry over of my surprise--not happy tears.)

Anyway, things are good despite the lack of sleep. Don't worry about me. I fear people worrying over me. Just sometimes, I forget that people who read my blog know me. I just complain a lot. So, I don't know... unless I call you, I'm okay. I like blogging because I'm afraid of forgetting who I was--forgetting my likes, dislikes, everything that I was. I'm scared of a lot of things...

Image source: here

Worn Me Down by Rachel Yamagata
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October 3, 2011

Situations Are Tricky

I've always thought that I worked in one of the best places in the world. I like my co-workers. My bosses treat me well. Almost everyone I met are super friendly, except for a select few. Also, I tend to feel too much empathy for everyone's situation.

Anyway, today an older student came into the center to turn in a scholarship application. I was excited to get the scholarship application because it was the first one we received. Anyway, he wanted to confirm that he had all the requirements. As I reviewed the application with my supervisor, she told me to suggest that he should rewrite his statement of purpose, because it did not contain enough compelling information. Going back in the waiting area, I had to tell him all that. He did not take the news well since he was a busy student. Additionally, he is a father and an international student. I told him to try and put more into his essay--try to explain how bad his situation his, tell us what he wanted to do with his degree, how much the money would help him. He understood what he needed, but he didn't want to revise his essay. His situation was clear and concise. He didn't want to lie in his essay just for a scholarship. He wanted to get the scholarship because they understood his situation. Essentially, he didn't want to write an elaborate essay filled with lies to get a scholarship; it wouldn't feel right. Hearing his argument, I agreed with him, but convinced him to eventually come back to pick up the scholarship and try again. Maybe this time he would write something more compelling because I honestly felt so sad about his situation: he's an older adult, has four kids, lost his job, and is trying to get through his last semester of college.

Anyway, I hear about these situations all the time during work. Everyone that goes to our center usually has a heart-breaking situation. I feel so much empathy for their situations that it hurts. I feel like I have no problems at all compare to others. Another thing, I am afraid that I will be desensitized by hearing so many people's situation. One day, I wouldn't care. I can't imagine the day that I become cold-hearted and just plain horrible. I don't know...I am scared. I'm full of what-ifs. I think the day I stop caring will mean that I stopped believing in the good in people.