March 20, 2011


Both of my sisters' birthdays are coming up--Elaine's birthday is tomorrow whereas Mei's is two Sundays from today. They mentioned it several times over the last month which worried me a lot. I really don't know what to get the both of them. A norm in our family is just to give money to each other. However, with my sisters, I give them money as well a gifts.

Mei and I bought Elaine food that she liked yesterday. We wanted to buy clothes for her but she hates it whenever we help her with her purchases. I remember we bought her this really nice red coat two years ago and she hasn't worn it yet. I think she gave it to Mei a couple months ago.

I got Mei this really nice backpack from Target (photo above). We were there yesterday and both wanted it. I ended up buying it because she didn't bring enough money. Talking to her, I decided to give it to her since I honestly can't see myself wearing it at school or anywhere in public. I want her to keep it as a birthday present and take it with her to whatever college she decides to go to.

Changing the subject, but still relating to this topic, I don't like giving gifts for anything. I feel this immense pressure when someone's birthday is coming up. I feel this pressure to find them an amazing gift that they would like. With this in mind, I should mention that I tend to shop for myself when I buy gifts. I'd think, Oh, that looks like something she'll like, when in reality she wouldn't like that craft book or something.

I remember one year for my birthday my really good friend gave me this toy that dispenses candy. Being a stupid and mean girl I was, I refused to accept the present. To understand why I didn't accept it, I have to explain a bit. Before my birthday I went to Rite Aid to buy some snacks when I encountered her sisters buying candy. She may have been there, but I really can't recall her. I spoke with them a bit when the sisters told me that they were buying me a gift for my birthday from her sister. When I heard that, I was taken little aback. What, her sisters are buying me a gift? Why isn't she buying me a gift? I was pretty annoyed to hear that they just went to the first store to get me a gift. It sounded rather last minute. I also had this bit of hope that it wasn't my gift. Perhaps she'll give me something else and this was just a diversion? So, the next day when she gave me the toy, I was still pretty surprised. As indifferent as I tried to be, I couldn't help but feel sad. Being extremely rude, I gave it back to her in a happy voice. I told her that I couldn't accept any presents because I don't celebrate my birthday. She was taken aback. She couldn't believe I wouldn't accept the gift. Anyway, she took it back and I thought that situation was over. When I spoke with her after school, she completely ignored me. I didn't understand why she was like that until I realized that it was because I wouldn't accept her gift. For about a month or so, she wouldn't speak with me. Too mad at me. It was completely understandable. I would have been pissed off if my good friend didn't accept my gift to them. I tried to get back our friendship but everything I did wasn't helpful. Other friends tried to help, but I don't know. Thinking back, I can't seem to understand why I didn't accept it. Why did I let my pride get the best of me? Why did I have such a high expectation for that birthday? The truth is, I have never been a fan of birthdays but for some reason I let myself believe that maybe things will be different that year. After that situation, however, we still remained friends. Actually, I think we're more than friends. More like, close friends. I pretty much confide to her about almost everything. It is kind of bad because we both go to different schools and she has so much stress yet she almost always have the time for me.

I think that she stills think about that situation around our birthdays (a week apart). I wonder if she still gets mad over it. Probably yes. Every time I think about her birthday, I feel so guilty and kind of want to do something extravagant. Even though the situation is over five years ago, I still feel teary when thinking about the stupid thing I did to almost lose our friendship. I'm sorry. :(

So, there's my post on birthdays. I went off topic.

If you like that backpack, you can purchase it at Target!

1 comment:

  1. noooooooooooooooooooooooo lily! i feel bad! it was such a stupid gift! in the past, i always had high hopes too! i think most people did, but after series of letdowns i decided that if i ever really wanted anything, no one was going to read my mind hahah xD just have to say something or get it myself :) but yeah, my fault completely. i went through a phase of gag gifts as presents and most people liked it or thought it was funny hahahaha ;D i think about it to this day because i felt so stupid giving away something that didn't mean anything. that's why nowadays i try to make gifts xD