February 28, 2011

Failure Is Not An Option

I took another theater quiz today. This time I failed. 50%. REALLY. I'm losing my touch with theater. I use to be such a theater geek. What happened? What happened to the girl who spent 18 hours at school in the school auditorium? What happened to the girl who memorized almost all the theater terms? What happened? Am I really losing my touch?

February 26, 2011

Remember When?

Memories are tricky little things. Most of the time, we don't need to go back to certain memories, just because we're all pretty selfish so we're pretty selective from what we wan to remember.

So, I drove Mei to RHS today so she could go on her SAVE field trip. Driving home near the Mission/Walnut Grove intersection, my mind started wandering. I started to think about that bike ride that Christine, Robert, Juan, Annie and I did like a year and a half ago. It was summer of 2009. We wanted to bike to Eaton Canyon but stuff happened. Juan lent us his family bikes and one of them had chain problems. After a couple of hours, the bike was finally fixed. However, by the time we decided to bike, we got lazy. We didn't want to go anymore. Instead, we went to Quickly's and grabbed a meal. I remember sharing a snack with Christine. It was measly and regretful. We had some sort of combination fried food thing while Juan had this huge meal of rice, egg, and spam(?). After the meal, we decided not to go to Eaton Canyon and visit Darwin.

Biking near Walnut Grove, somehow Robert fell off his bike. He was probably riding his bike too close to the edge. Seeing that, I quickly got off my bike and went to see how he was doing. He was fine and still able to bike.

Anyway, after that incident, Robert told everyone that I jumped off my bike dramatically to check if he was okay! Oh gosh, that was embarrassing. Then, Jonathan asked if I would save him and I said of course. AND, well, there's this facebook post of all of us talking about my heroic jump out of the bike. So, this is forever an inside joke between Christine, Jonathan, Robert, and me.

Just being around that corner made me feel somewhat nostalgic. I really feel guilty for letting many people drift away. At the same time, however, I can't help but feel mad that some people don't try to stay friends. They don't try to plan events so that everyone would hang out.

Well, I shouldn't dwell on this and be grateful for the friends I'm still communicating with. Anyway, I truly am grateful for the memories that everyone has ever given to me. They have, as cliche as this sounds, shaped who I am. I keep thinking I will be so much different if I hung out with different people... so yeah, thanks.

February 24, 2011

How Do I Say This...?

On Tuesday 2/22/2011, Mei called me to pick her up around 5:15pm. I didn't get the chance to leave the house until around 5:30 because I wanted to catch up on my Korean drama. Daddy was home as I quickly rush out of the house because I lagged picking her up. Elaine came out to help me close the gate as I back out of the driveway. Before backing out of the driveway, I quickly glanced at the rear view mirror as well as the other mirrors, looking for an obstruction. Backing out, I noticed that I was going a little too faster than usual. Brushing that thought out of my head, I reasoned, Well it's not like I'm going to hit the gate. I'll notice. I guess I didn't look long enough at the mirrors because I backed into something hard. Freaking out when I heard something, I put the car on park and ran out. I backed into the trashcan. Seriously, this is embarrassing. I have been driving for about 3 years and I'm still doing stupid mistakes. Daddy runs out and sees what I've done. He yells at me. D: I told him that I wasn't going to pick Mei up and just went in the house. Elaine decided to pick Mei up and that's that.

I can't really describe how the house front yard layout is like, but yeah I hit the trashcan which was still in the front yard, not a trashcan outside of the house. Oh, and no bumps and dents were given to the car! :D

Anyway, it's pretty embarrassing to write about this experience. I really should look at the mirrors longer before heading out.

The end.

February 23, 2011

Reflection of Spring Semester--So Far

I have not enjoyed my psychology research methods class so far this semester. On my first quiz, I received a 9/10. I hope I will do better in the future. However, I pretty much doubt it. I've done several assignments so far. They are relatively simple. I think things will be a little more difficult in the future. I should try to be ready for it.

On my social interactions class, I received a 92/100 on my group presentation. I feel so stupid because when I read my peer review, one of the two people gave me a super low score because I was sick. I had a sore throat and still continued to do the presentation. :( REALLY. I probably can't survive out of this world because I can't take a little constructive criticism. I expect everyone to pity me or something. ARGH. I'm only like this because I'm usually treated pretty nice and respectful so seeing this makes me pretty annoyed. I got a 92/100 on my first exam as well. I'm pretty pleased with that result since it's pretty difficult to grasp the concepts.

I barely had one quiz so far in my cultural diversity theater class and I didn't do so well. I got a B which surprised me. That class seems like a joke. I mean all I hear are repeated lectures from everything I learned prior to that class. The films we watched are somewhat interesting but everyone is so tall that I can't see much of the projection screen. I hope I will do better in the future. I also hope that I will enjoy the class much more in the future.

I received a 54/60 in my anthropology class. I was pretty much disappointed since I thought I'd do well. I guess I didn't do well. I think most of the concepts are review yet I didn't do as well as i wanted to. I should focus more on my reading and go to those office hours if I need do.

As for mass communications, I just had my first exam today. It wasn't difficult. It also wasn't that easy. I stumbled on a couple of questions. When my professor asked how I felt about the exam, I don't know why I lied and said there were a couple tricky ones. By telling my professor that I had difficulty with the exam, he suggested that I come to class more. I told him that I was always there. Then, he told me to sit a bit closer. I don't think I can sit closer than the 4th row, which is where I always sit at since I come relatively late. Anyway, I don't know why I lied to him. I think I thought it would make him feel better. Like, by telling some professors that their exams are difficult, they kind of feel better about themselves. Anyhow, I'm sure he's not the type of professor that would feel better about giving difficult exams. So, now I feel kind of guilty for lying. Well, I'll see how my exam turns out next week. Maybe I did do as horrible as I told him. I guess it was a self-fulfilling prophecy is that's the result.

February 17, 2011

Borders Files for Bankruptcy

It was inevitable that Borders bookstore would eventually close with the abundance of digital e-books. Being somewhat technologically slow at trends, I haven't gotten myself a Nook or Kindle but I'm sure I'll eventually get one. Well, I still have yet to obtain an ipod or any sort of mp3 player so I'm one to talk.

Hearing the news of this, I was horrified. It's not like I shopped a lot at Borders because the books were listed at publisher prices, but STILL. I would go to Borders when I needed a book for class IMMEDIATELY. If I didn't need the reading book that fast, I'd obviously ordered my book off at Amazon which sells books for even less.

I wanted to post this news up on the Comm facebook group, but for some reason I hesitated before putting the link. I didn't want to look eager, letting other people know immediately that I heard this news so early in the morning. In the end, a couple hours later, another student posted up the link of Borders filing for bankruptcy.

I guess in the end, if I snooze, I lose.

February 8, 2011

I have a cold

So Mei has been sick for the past week. I didn't think that her germs would move on to my body but it did. Now, I'm filled with pain. My back aches with every movement. Every time I walk, I feel so cold. Somehow in a warm room, it feels so chilly. I hate being sick.

February 2, 2011

Misunderstandings

So, for Spring semester, I decided to take a theater class because it seemed rather simple and I was in a vulnerable position when I registered for that class last November. I thought that I'd fail all my classes because I wouldn't be able to manage all my readings. Anyway, I tried to enroll in the one that my friends were in but I ended up on waitlist. The other section, however, wasn't full yet. Basically, I registered to both of the classes; waitlist for one and enrolled in the other.

I walked into the class I was waitlisted in and saw my friends sitting in this corner without saving me a seat. Bitterly, I walked away from them and decided to sit by myself in the other side of the classroom. The next day, I reminded one of my friends to save me a seat next week and the friend agreed to. That was last week. This week, I was talking to my friend who knew them. She told me that they told her that I walked into the class and snubbed them. Apparently, they saved me a seat behind them but I walked away. Anyway, I didn't notice the seat. I guess I was absorbed into my own problems or whatever. So yeah, this is my unedited version of the story. Yes, extremely badly written, but I'm somewhat satisfied.

**I can't see much into my future with this blog, but I hope that I will allow myself to continue to pursue this blog even after my Mass Communications class. For now, I'll continue to blog about whatchamacallit.

State of the Union 2011

This is the same post as the one I posted on tumblr last week(Jan. 28) but since the professor didn't think tumblr justified as a blog, I'm going to paste it here.

I don’t know if many of you watched the State of the Union two nights ago (01/25). If you did, good for you. If you didn’t, I really suggest that you watch it. I don’t think reading it did it much justice. Despite the fact that the State of the Union just addresses issues somewhat vaguely, it gave me this sense of motivation. Dreams do come true. Hope does go somewhere. Anything and everything is possible. I really enjoy speeches that can appeal to the emotions. Sometimes, I feel, we need these kinds of speeches. I’ve been feeling really unmotivated lately, believing that everything I do will ultimately backfire. I won’t be able to feel like I “succeeded” in life. Many people feel like they accomplished something whereas I’m sitting here at home, doing nothing. I feel the same as I had a year ago. A year ago, I remember thinking, “I will know what I want with no regrets.” A year later, I’m still at the same spot. Maybe I have to somehow motivate myself to find out what I truly want. I can say that I’m trying, but I feel like I’m not. I’m just going in a roundabout in this discussion.

I have to say, in his speech, the part that appealed to me most was the end. Obama mentioned that this man named Brandon Fisher who had this small business that dealt with drilling technology. When he heard that there was 33 Chilean men stuck underground, he helped find a Plan B. He help drill those men out of that hole. He was part of the reason why those men managed to get out quicker (34+ days?) than the estimated time (6 months, right?). Anyway, that story actually got me teary-eyed. I just couldn’t believe that there were still people in this world that had this sense of humanity. I’m not saying that all humans are evil or whatnot. Just, we set our priorities differently. I feel so passionate about many things, yet I’m not willing to compromise my priorities if something comes up. For instance, I wanted to help out in the political campaign near the end of last year. I could have volunteered the the political headquarters of my affiliation or donated money or other things, but I didn’t. Using rationalism, I reasoned that I would eventually help them out. They don’t need me right now. I’m busy studying (I could’ve given up some time since I’m online a bit too much). I’m a broke college student. I had so much excuses to not help out with campaigns. It kind of sickens me now that I’m reflecting upon myself. Anyway, I digress. So, hearing the story of Fisher and his drill, I couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed with emotions. I want to help people. I don’t think I will, but the speech changed my judgment over people I had for awhile. I felt that everyone was really selfish and greedy (including me). It’s weird how one speech can change you for awhile. As I grew a bit more pessimistic about people over the last few months, somehow I managed to gain back a bit of optimism over the speech. Thank you. :D